Moments like this
by winged-things
Summary: Haven Season 4 drabbles/one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing

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**_Hello..._**

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"So," Dave began, taking a seat at the bar, "How long do you think it will be before someone else figures it out?"

He doesn't bother to hide his smile as both Lexi and Duke freeze, turn and try to fix the 'What do you mean?' looks on their faces.

Except that Duke's is more 'Where can I hide the body?", and Lexi's is 'How the hell did you know' mixed with 'Oh No!'.

"I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what, Dave?" Duke; sounding more like his father than ever before, pours some of his best whiskey into a glass and puts it in front of the other man.

The Gull's otherwise empty. It's not yet closing, but some unexpected bad weather has kept the customers to a minimum. There's no-one left to hear this particular conversation.

"It's like watching identical twins swap places for the day. No matter how alike they are, there's always something..." Dave swirled the whiskey around in the glass, "Sarah, Lucy and Audrey, they all needed a few goes to get the hang of it. But Lexi, she just jumped right in."

It's a bit like watching the air leaving a balloon. They both reach for a solid surface and sort of collapse in on themselves.

When she looks up, it's not Lexi/Audrey, just Audrey.

"We missed you," He tells her, reaching across the bar to pat her hand, "We always do."

Her "I missed you to." is almost over come by Duke's "You can't tell Vince."

"I know."

"No, really," Duke insists, "If he found out that Lexi knows she's Audrey, he'd put a gun in her hand and make her pull the trigger himself. On all of us."

"I know that too," Dave glared at Duke, before turning a sad smile on Audrey, "I just wanted to say hello."

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	2. Laughter

Disclaimer: Not mine, only borrowing.

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**_Laughter..._**

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Most times it's hard, watching Audrey being Lexi.

Other times (like imagining Nathan's face when she'd told him that pancakes were _urgh_), it's all Duke can do not to not start laughing.

He does laugh, later (after Lexi's made it clear that she prefers half melted chocolate bars), when Audrey begs him to smuggle her a cupcake.

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	3. Trashy

Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing..

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**_Trashy..._**

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Lexi reads romance novels. Has them in neat little piles on the bedside and coffee tables in the apartment, two or three scattered under the bar; to read when she has a few uninterrupted moments and one shoved in the glove box of Nathan's truck.

They're all set in the Regency or Victorian era (she doesn't like the modern ones, thinks there are too many plot lines that could be solved by the leading lady telling the _hero_ to go fuck himself, but a little historical context can go a long way), and are on the verge of falling to pieces.

It's one of the things she likes about being Lexi.

Not having to hide some of Audrey's reading material.

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	4. Mess

Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing it, it's not mine.

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**_Mess..._**

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Jennifer feels like she's 15 again, with her first crush (Zachary McKay and Olivia Bishop - Morning, and Charlie Ford - Evening).

As if given a moment of inattention and she'd be writing her name with theirs; surrounded by arrow-pierced hearts, on all of the Gull's menus.

She doesn't want to make things messy... messier.

(It's already a huge mess)

Nathan (Evening) doesn't seem to realise that Duke (Morning) is right in front of him, and while she's pretty sure that Audrey was Morning, Lexi isn't the sharing type.

Jennifer (Evening) sighs and gives in, writing their names on a napkin, surrounding them in a heart.

(The arrow seems too much like tempting fate.)

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Notes: Sedoretu fusion/au thing (explained here - /wiki/Sedoretu)


	5. Transference

Disclaimer: Not mine, only playing

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**_Transference..._**

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Having his own set of breasts, Duke decided, was not as much fun as he'd thought it would be.

Nor was the bra as tricky as he'd been lead to believe. He just sort of work backwards form what he was used to.

"Are you OK in there?" Jennifer asked from the other side of the bathroom door.

"I'm fine," Duke answered hurriedly, waking up that morning had been difficult enough and he'd prefer to keep some things to himself, "I want my dick back."

There's a sound, almost like a squashed giggle turned into a cough.

"I'm sure Nathania and Dwightina are looking for it."

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	6. Loss

Disclaimer:

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Warning: this chapter has a _loss of pregnancy _plot line and may contain content that some may not want to read.

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**_Loss..._**

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Duke is holding her hand when she wakes up.

They're in the hospital, it's late and it feels like someone's dosed her full of pain killers.

Audrey hopes it was for a good reason.

She squeezes Duke's hand and one look at his face tells her it probably was.

"Hey." She whispers, squeezing his hand again, "What happened? Is Natha-"

"Nathan's fine." Duke squeezes her hand back, trying to make it look like he isn't trying to not look at her, "Well, he's with Dwight at the moment, getting very, very drunk at the Gull."

"Nathan doesn't... Why is Nathan getting drunk with Dwight?"

"Dwight's not getting drunk, he's watching Nathan get drunk."

He still isn't looking at her.

"Duke?"

"There was a _troubled_ guy." Duke began.

"Aaron Michelson, with the throwing-trouble."

"He threw you against a tree, you got wrapped around it and fell about 10 feet, hit the ground hard." He says it like he needs her to remember it, then connect the dots to what he obviously, really doesn't want to tell her.

"The pain killers make more sense, just not enough.

"Did I have surgery?"

"Yeah, you did." He sounds, sad.

Surgery after an injury - fine.

Nathan getting drunk and Duke not telling her why - not fine.

Duke squares his shoulders and finally looks at her.

"Before you went into the barn, did you and Nathan... _do _anything?"

"Like what?"

He takes both her hands, squeezing them tighter than she'd squeezed his.

"You were... pregnant. Not very far along, but," She freezes, breath trapped in her throat, "Getting thrown into the tree stomach first, then the ground. You weren't waking up, we had to call an ambulance. They had you in surgery before we could get here. The doctor didn't know about the Lexi-not-Audrey thing and offered Nathan his condolences. He thought Nathan knew about..."

"I didn't know." Her voice shakes. She hadn't known, can't find the memory of when it might have happened, can't find the gap in her memories, "No."

"It'll be OK."

"No," She wrenches her hands out of his, desperate to get out of the bed, "I need to, Nathan. I-"

The floor is a fleeting feeling of cold against her feet, before Duke picks her up and puts her back on the bed.

He holds onto her; solid, safe and warm, while she sobs and shakes apart.

All she feels is cold.

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	7. Want

Disclaimer: Not mine, only borrowing.

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His Dark Materials/Daemons fusion - wiki/D%C3%A6mon_%28His_Dark_Materials%29

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**_Want..._**

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Edurne whines, shaking herself and thumping her tail against Larina, making Duke and Nathan _twitch_.

Faddey; a Corsac fox this time (he'd been a satin bowerbird when she'd been Audrey, a snowshoe hare with Lucy and a morpho luna butterfly with Sarah), watches them from behind Lexi's legs.

Edurne whines again. And Faddey runs between them, rubbing his fur against theirs.

Lexi closes her eyes and _shivers_.

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(Treacherous deamons).

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Faddey - form of Thaddeus, meaning courageous heart.

(Lexi) wiki/Corsac_fox

(Audrey) wiki/Satin_Bowerbird

(Lucy) wiki/Snowshoe_hare

(Sarah) wiki/Morpho_luna

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Edurne - snow

(Nathan) wiki/Tamaskan_Dog

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Larina - seagull  
(Duke) wiki/Snow_Leopard

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	8. Regret

Disclaimer: not mine, only borrowing.

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**_Regret..._**

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(Jordan doesn't want to die.)

She hadn't been perfect; far from it, but she'd tried and there was a path paved with good intentions that she hoped didn't lead straight to hell.

She'd just wanted it all to be over with, wished every night for her _trouble_ to be gone.

(Her mother had told her once that wishes were like spiders. They came with sticky strings attached.)

She won't ever be _troubled_ again, neither will anyone else in her family (Two older brothers, a nephew and two nieces, and more than a dozen cousins).

Any comfort she might take, is over whelmed by her own part in this monster's creation.

At least she'd told him about Audrey.

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(She still doesn't want to die.)

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	9. Light

Disclaimer: not mine, only playing

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**_Light..._**

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He can't help watching her.

She still has to be Lexi to everyone else, so the jewellery, the slightly clueless - kind of cocky - little bit of white trash attitude, and the playing with her hair has to stay.

He likes her hair; longer and darker than when she was Audrey, the thing in her left ear that catches the light and darker redder shade of lipstick.

He has dreams about that lipstick, mostly of prints of it being smeared against his own skin.

One day he's going to take it all from her lips and leave those half smeared prints all over her skin, while the sun reflects off the metal in her ears, casting bright quivering patches of light across the ceiling.

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(He wonders where else Lexi might be pierced.)

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	10. Atropos

Disclaimer: Not mine, only borrowing.

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Warnings : Major character death, suicide

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_Atropos_

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Dwight closed the door, shutting out the police cars, the ambulance and people that were waiting outside the Grey Gull.

Inside it was quiet, except for Jennifer sobbing into Vince's shoulder and Dave pouring drinks.

Duke sits away from them, hands covered in blood.

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"Troubles are over?" Dwight asked, sitting at the same table.

"No." Duke looked at his hands as if surprised they were still bloody, "Wade attacked Jennifer..."

"Ok." Dwight would get the full story about that later, "What happened here?"

"She shot him."

"I know. What were you doing before she shot him?"

"Coming to tell her to not shoot him."

Dwight's not sure how much of that sentence is irony and how much is tragedy, but it's another story for later.

"So you heard the first shot?" Dwight prompted.

"Jennifer and I were on the stairs, the brothers a few feet away."

"How long before the second shot?"

"It felt like hours, a hundred, two hundred," Duke heaved a breath, "I got to the door first, it must've only been a few seconds."

The glass in front of Duke has a bloody ring about the middle, as he turned it around and around, a soft scraping sound against the table top.

"I don't remember if it was before or after I kicked the door down."

"Who had the gun?"

"She did."

"So Lexi-"

"Audrey." Duke said softly, "Audrey shot Nathan. Then she killed herself."

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	11. Expectations

Disclaimer: Not mine, only playing

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_Expectations_

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While Duke and Audrey go with Nathan in the ambulance and Dwight makes it very clear to the Teagues that neither they nor the Guard will be welcome anywhere near the hospital, Jennifer goes back up the stairs and cleans up the blood.

She doesn't care that she's destroying a crime scene; it's just something that needs to be done. That she needs to do.

She cleans the rest of the apartment too. Then the Gull and when Dwight comes back to check on her, she has him drive her to the Rouge and Nathan's house so she can clean them as well.

She tells him what happened on the way and he follows her in, helping clean and doing most of the heavy lifting.

He kisses her afterwards.

They stand in Nathan Wuornos' living room and Jennifer kisses him back, threading her hands through his hair and yanking on it until he has to break the kiss to hiss in pain. He lifts her up, pressing her against a wall until she thinks the only soft things about him are his lips and hair.

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When she finally gets to the hospital, Nathan's out of surgery and his recovery is _hopeful_. Audrey's curled around him, sleeping the sleep of the lightly sedated, with Duke keeping watch over them. She twists one of her hands about one of his and squeezes it as tight as she can.

"I fucked Dwight in Nathan's living room." She says. Because she can't lie to him, not today.

Duke squeezes her hand as hard as she'd squeezed his. "OK."

"I don't-"

He pulls her into his lap and kisses her, his tongue delving into her mouth as if he was trying to find any part of Dwight that might still be there.

He won't. She'd showered and brushed her teeth before coming to see him.

"I don't care about that right now." He murmurs, breathing her in, "We'll figure it out later."

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Later comes with Dwight standing in the door way, looking like he's tried to solve every tiny to medium sized problem Haven has and Jennifer can see the heavy lines of guilt settling across his shoulders.

Duke pulls him into the room, sits him in the chair and leaves, asking how they want their coffee. It's awkward and confusing and neither do as much as twitch until he gets back.

To which Duke sighs and wants desperately to rolls his eyes, but doesn't. He hands Jennifer the cups and kisses her lightly, before leaning down and kissing Dwight hard.

At first Dwight freezes, then Duke does something (Jennifer's pretty sure she knows what, but her thought process is mostly 'oh my g-d!' and 'don't drop the coffee'), and Dwight makes a needy sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper and Duke runs a hand through his hair; pulling on it, eliciting the same hiss that Jennifer had drawn from him earlier.

They break to catch their breaths and this time Dwight lures Duke back into the kiss, pulling him closer until he's straddling Dwight's thighs and the chair creaks dangerously under them.

Duke makes that same needy sound and the 'don't drop the coffee' thought falls out of Jennifer's head just before the coffee falls from her hands.

(This is really not what she thought Duke meant when he said they'd figure it out later.)

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AN: So... I had no idea I was going to write that.

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	12. Games

Disclaimer : Not mine, only borrowing

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_Games_

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"Pick _Truth_," Audrey advised earnestly, "Trust me, you don't want _Dare_."

"Really?" Duke matched her smirk, "Why don't I want _Dare_?"

"Cause." She drawled, "Lexi; who has played this game before, is the type to _dare_ you to let her watch you make out with _Cheekbones_."

They ignored Nathan's sputtering.

"Talking about yourself, in the third person like that," Duke grinned, "It's kind of creepy."

Audrey laughed at him.

"Was I not supposed to that you weren't objecting to making out with Nathan?".

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A/N: Audrey, Duke and Nathan (for some reason) play _Truth or Dare_

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	13. Real

_Disclaimer: Not mine, only playing_

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_Real_

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"Wait." Audrey threw up her hands, knocking William's away from her face, "  
Do you know what happened to James?"

"James?" He looked at her oddly.

"He was in the barn," Audrey expanded, "I need to know what happened to him."

William shook his head. "There was never any 'James' in the barn. It's only ever been us."

"What about Agent Howard?"

"A construct." He explained patiently, as if she was a child, "To keep you coming and going from the barn."

"And the big guy?" Audrey glanced behind him, "The little guy? Are they constructs to?"

"Sort of." William shrugged, "An 'amalgamation of expectations' would be more accurate. You see what you think you should be seeing."

"You think that's what James was?"

He grinned at her. "He couldn't be anything else."

"I don't believe you."

The grin fell from William's face. "Why not?"

"What if you're a construct too? Or an amalgamation? Something that happens when Howard is hurt or destroyed?"

The odd look was back on his face and he asked suddenly. "Who is James?"

"Someone real, a child of the barn," Audrey answered, "My son."

"That's not possible." William shook his head.

"Nathan's son," She taunted, "Our son, a real person. Not a construct or an amalgamation. Someone the barn hid from you."

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_So... I kind of wrote a sequel to Chapter 11, does anyone actaully want to read it?_

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